HOME...

First of all I know this sounds crazy but I want to go home. Every day I'm here, that is in the back of my mind. I don't think this city is for me and my kids. Its hard to raise your kids in a cold, hard, city. I know Casper has its own issues, but here the issues are on a bigger scale. I love Josh and want to be with him, and I want him to have his job, but I don't want to be here. I'm not going to force him to quit his job, he can keep it, but I know me and the kids are going to go back to Casper. I mean I have a hard time driving in this City and I'm supposed to teach my son to drive in this crap. People here are rude, not all but most. Jayden's school is BAD, drug infested, gang banger bullshit. Peyton's face is all scratched up from girls at school, and Mason has been acting out at school, just being defiant to teachers and refusing to do what they ask. Now that's not my Mason. I don't care if I have to start all over and go live in public housing, I just know I have to get my kids out of here. When Im in Casper I feel like why in the heck do I want to come back here, but truly the issue is safety. It feels safe there to me, here not so much. Josh doesnt see whats going on with the kids, he is oblivious to it, same with what is going on with me, oblivious. He is so focused on his job, they work him like an illegal, and are having cash flow problems so he only got one week of pay so I can hear the checks bouncing in the account right now. Oh but all the Illegals who work there got their pay on time. Bullshit. That is very frustrating. Plus the girls who rent my house in Casper are going to move out, they dont like people coming in to show the house, or to have open houses. So we are going to be in the same spot with 2 house payments AGAIN..... I can understand how they feel, but I am paying their gas bill to compensate them for that inconvenience, but what can I do about it. Nothing. On top of it all Jayden is now smoking Cigarettes, busted him over and over again. I told him that on the 9th he has a Orthodontist appointment and Im just going to have the doctor take off his braces. We have to pay $200 every month just to get his braces adjusted and all the things they do, and if he is smoking its just a waste of money. Over the next 14 months it will be $3200 for braces and retainers. so I told him quit smoking and have nice teeth for the rest of your life, or keep smoking and have messed up teeth and jaw for the rest of your life. Its up to you. We will see what he decides to do. I know first hand you cant fight a kid when it comes to smoking, it just makes them want to do it more. I discourage it, maybe this whole braces thing will be a wake up call for him, or not. So confused, dont know what to do. I wish we would of NEVER MOVED HERE!!!!!!